Blog 27 - Family and Friends

I'm writing this blog from the Raleigh-Durham airport in North Carolina...

It's only Wednesday, but it feels like I've been up for a week. My trip to North Carloina was short but sweet. I was supposed to be here till Friday, April 29th but I was struck with devastating family news and had to find a flight back to San Diego in a hurry.

I flew to North Carolina to meet some friends that I've known since 2007: Ed, Michele, and Michael.

I got into my hotel room in Durham, NC around 9:45am EST. I met up with my friend Michael at the hotel. We called up Ed and went over his and Michele's place. It was kind of awkward at first but comfortable at the same time. These are people I've talked to andplayed video games with for a long time. It waas was "strangely familiar."

Michele had to work, but the three of us went to have lunch at a pretty cool restaurant in Hillsborough. Culture shock definitely sit in: I was amazed at how slow everything ran. I don't mean that people were slow as in being inefficient or anything.. The pace of life was just so different. Everyone took their time to say hello, to see how you were doing, and all around... Wholesome and friendly. That's something very different from living in Southern California for the past 27ish years.

After lunch, we we this organic/natural shop called Co-Op to buy.. Lots and lots of beers. We were definitely going to drink it up that night. And we did... Maybe not in the original intention. We even got a bottle of mead just because it sounded medevil and cool. We also went to Walmart to get lots of meats to BBQ: hamburgers, steaks, and hot dogs.

I also got to meet Ed and Michele's three boys: John, Derrick, and Chris. Three really well mannered and intelligent kids. John is a very responsible kid. Working and going to school. Something that I am all to familiar with. Derrick was very well mannered and a huge MMO gamer. I was really taken by their youngest, Chris. Probably because he plays trumpet but more because of his level of intelligence. That little boy has a huge vocabulary for his age. Ed and Michele told us stories about how he gets picked on, but I have no doubt he will grow up to be one very intelligent and successful kid.

Around 9:15pm EST, I received a call from my mom that my grandpa collapsed and didn't have a pulse... He was rushed to the hospital and the whole family was on their way. I broke down. It ws really difficult to hear my mom crying over the phone. I could just hear her heart breaking... As was mine... Just this passed weekend my mom suggested that I help my grandpa in his garden he was starting... That was going to be one the first things I was going to prep for when I got back from my little trip.... I was going to buy hats, gloves, and gardening tools... I was looking forward to hearing more of my grandpa's stories.

I wish... I should've been around more often...

Anyways...

I really didn't want to make things "weird" around my friends... After all, it was the first time I was meeting them all in person and I didn't want to make people feel uncomfortable. I really hope i didnt.

Right away, everyone knew there was something wrong and Michele was the first person to ask me what was going on. I just started crying... My grandpa's health was something he's fought with for some time... I knew this day would come, but I was really hoping he would be around to see me graduate with my MBA. I knew he was proud of me, but... It was something I was really wishing and praying for.

The rest of the night was full of stories, drinking, and the occasional laughter. Michele and Ed shared a lot of stories about their families. And they gave me a lot of emotional support. If anything, I think this event kind of brought all of us a little bit closer. I dont necessarily like how everything turned out but I'm still very grateful that I got to meet them all. This definitely wont be the last time I will see them.

We just sat at table talking for hours... I mostly just listened and starred blankly at the table and my phone... But it was nice to have friends around to listen to. We eventually wrapped everything up around 2:30am.

This morning around 11:30ish... Michael and I had breakfast before he left to drive back home and me to the airport.

Now it's 2:31pm EST... My plane arrives in about an hour and I'll be back in San Diego around 9:15pm PST. I'm headed straight for my grandma's house where all my relatives and family are... I hope my grandma is doing okay...

What a crazy couple days it's been...

Blog 26 - Trimester Coming to a Close

I know it's been awhile since I last made a blog entry.  I had a feeling this was going to happen when the trimester started back in January.  Between school and work, this trimester has been a complete whirlwind.  Add some personal issues, and the last 4 months really drained me.

Nothing too exciting is happening in my life, otherwise.  I was surprised how interesting Accounting ended up being and how much a pain Marketing was!  I don't think I want to see another marketing plan for a long LONG time.  Overall, I'm pretty proud of the end result but the process was really a challenge.  The only thing I can say about the people I worked with is:

"Such is life... You don't always get to choose the people you have to work with."

I love my classmates, but I don't think I want to go thru that torture again.

In my personal life, it's just a big cluster...  I'm just glad that school and work can keep me pretty distracted; otherwise, I'd be down in the dumps with everything that's going on. 

Tonight, I have my Accounting final and tomorrow is the big Marketing presentation.  I'll write more soon!

Oh yeah.. and I'm going to North Carolina.  Random, right?  I'm going to go see some very dear friends of mine and I'm looking forward to the trip.  I'm kind of hoping I come back with an accent...  Just because...

Blog 25 - Extremely Humbled and Blessed

Have you ever met someone so gracious, kind, and inspiring that it made you feel as if your heart was going to explode?  I did... Last night.

Last night, school was let out early and I got home at 10pm.  I was looking forward to relaxing a bit and popping in an episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (nerd!).  I went to the mailbox and saw a letter from a privately held company called Petersen Brands that manufactures Slide Sledge Hammers. 

At first, I thought to myself, "Hmm what's this?  Spam? Or might be the bill the HOA sent me for the broken light out in the hallway..."  I really didn't think anything of it...  I opened the letter and began to read the company's newsletter.

"Whoa! Hey my name is on here!  Zurowski is on here too... Wait.. Oh my gosh!  This letter is from Ane!!"

Ane Shields is someone that I play a popular online game with called Lord of the Rings Online.  She is someone that I've become good friends with just by hanging out in a virtual/imaginary world.  There are several people in the game who I now consider close friends.  A crazy phenomenon.  I blogged about this topic before entitled, "The Flammers."  Two of those people also include Ed and Michele Zurowski (mentioned above). 

I was featured in her company's newsletter and part of their 2011 Giving Program.  I can't even begin to express how blessed and humbled I am to even be regarded so highly by Ane and her company.  Really...  There are a lot of talented people out there and I almost feel like I really don't deserve such high praise.  Sure I work hard... but still...

Ane and my conversations are usually around how school is going and how to best lead our in-game kinship.  She's always telling me how much potential I have...  Potential to do what exactly is something I'm still trying to figure out.  I'm certainly going to do my best in my endeavors and it sure seems like a lot of people have a lot of faith in me...

If I were to describe Ane in one word, it would be: authentic.  And being authentic plays a big role to a successful company these days.  I'm sure she will lead her company to a lot of prosperity...  Perhaps in the future when I'm done with this MBA, I'll be able to lend a helping hand somehow.

Ane, you've changed my life... I really hope we get the opportunity to meet someday!  You're in my prayers :)

Day 24 - Stress!

Have you ever had one of those weeks where you feel like everything is just piling up and you're sinking deeper and deeper into an unorganized mess?

This happens to be one of those weeks for me.  Between work and school, life as a working professional and graduate student can become a nightmare.  I could vent on and on about what's wrong with the management of projects, or the unorganized chaos that people like to function in, but that would just turn this blog into a big ol' rant.

So how do I deal with the stress?  I'm by no means a perfect person and I'm not proud that, in the heat of the moment, I caught myself raising my voice to some folks at work.  (Which is very uncharacteristic of me, if you know me).  Anyway, to be honest... I'm not sure how to handle the really stressful situations.  I can handle the pressures of deadlines if I can dedicate my time to getting a job done.  But when things get really dirty... How do you handle yourself?  It's easy to put down on paper that you have to do:

1. Stay calm
2. Make a list of priorities
3. Tackle one thing at a time
4. Yadda yadda yadda

It's a completely different story when you have the "fire-hose" blasting at you...  This is something that I read in a book my mom gave me a long time ago... And it seems to help me, personally.  Maybe it'll help you.

"There is only so much sand in the hourglass.  Who gets it?"

"It's a tug-of-war, and you are the rope..."

"I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you.  I will give you hope and a good future.  Then you will call my name.  You will come to me and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will search for me.  And when you search for me with all your heart, you will find me!" Jeremiah 29:11-13

What I get from this is...  God will always take care of you.  He has a plan for you life and when things get overwhelming and crazy it helps to take a timeout and focus on what he's blessed you with.  See the bigger picture and take some time to clear your head... Work is work and it will always be there... Don't become so entrenched in your work that you lose sight of everyone or other things that are also important:  God, your family, your health...

Even if you're not a spiritual person, just take some time to reflect on things... Take a walk and breath... You'll return to work with a lot more focus and clarity.

Ok back to work... ;)

Day 23 - A helping hand not wanted

Tonight, I went to Boston Market to grab some dinner.  As I was walking up to the store, I noticed a lady sitting alone with a shopping cart full of stuff.  When I went to order my quarter white with mashed potatoes and corn, my heart wanted to reach out to the lady who was obviously homeless.  I asked the Boston Market employee to give me another order of the same.

I sat inside for a little bit and watched her.  I wasn't sure if someone was coming to pick her up or if she was, in fact, homeless.

I was really nervous about what I was going to do.  I've given beggars on the corner some coin, but I've never actually went up to a homeless person to provide a meal and, maybe, pray with her on the spot.  I finally decided to approach the lady...

"Excuse me, miss?"

I had to call out to her twice because she had her head laying down on her arms.

"Excuse me, miss?  Are you hungry?  I have an extra meal that you can have..."

"No!"  She yelled.  She looked upset and shrugged her head to the side.

"Are you sure? I don't mind."  I was really trying to help her...

"NO!!"

She didn't want anything to do with me.  She was angry.  Not at me, but at the world.  I wanted to leave the food with her despite the rejection.  I could feel the nervous heat fuming through my sweater...  So I just left.

I looked back when I got in my car and she had put her head back down on her arms...

It's odd how it kind of hurt to be rejected when you just want to help someone. It broke my heart to see her alone like that.  I'm not quite sure I'll fully understand the anger some homeless people have towards people that try to help.  Perhaps they don't think they need the help?  Or they don't want another person's pity?  Or they were just burned so bad in life that they just don't want any part of it...

All I can do is pray for them...  I don't even want to touch the extra meal that's in my fridge.

Oh well, next time I suppose... Count your blessings.  If you're reading this, you've been blessed to even have the means to do so...

Do Widzenia.

Day 22 - Countdown to China! Enough Said

Day 21 - 1,030 Miles

"I Would Walk 500 Miles"

When I wake up, yeah I know Im gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
When I go out yeah I know Im gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
And If I get drunk, yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
And if I haver whatever that means
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
To be the man who walked 1,000 miles
To fall down at your door

When I'm working yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you
And when the money, comes in for the work I do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you
When I come home yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
And if I grow old well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you

And I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
To be the man who walked 1,000 miles
To fall down at your door


Trip to Arizona was worth it... Even if it was just for 40 minutes.

Day 20 - Sometimes, it's your mindset

Emily and I had a conversation during our accounting class that really struck me.  Accounting is one of my least favorite subjects in the world.  I disliked the subject since undergrad and I it left a bad taste in my mouth.

Last trimester, I tried to take accounting and economics at the same time.  I'm pretty sure I could have done it, but, for some reason, anything that was discussed never stuck or clicked in my brain.  I just did not want to be there, so I dropped it.  Taking econ and accounting was a little too much for me at the time.

This time around, I came in with a much more positive attitude.  I still dislike the subject, but found that I am really retaining and understanding this material much more effectively than before.

"This isn't so bad... You can do this"

So, I guess it's all a mindset.  I really do believe that anyone can accomplish anything much more effectively, if they try to have a positive attitude about it.  You don't have to like it, but getting down on yourself about it will just hinder your ability to overcome the situation and, ultimately, become successful.

I know it's harder than it sounds and it takes a level of dedication, for sure...  Believing in yourself is definitely a great first step.  Take things slow and try not to let the situation overwhelm you.  At least, that's my advice...

Anyway, I'm done reading my Marketing :) I surprisingly blew right through it all...  See you tomorrow.

Do Widzenia!

Day 19 - A Letter a Day

Have you ever written someone a letter?  Not an e-mail.  A real letter that requires a stamp.  Remember those?

For the past month or so a very dear friend and I have been sending letters back and forth.  There's something very connecting and, almost, therapeutic about writing an old fashioned letter.  At first, I was trying to write the letters as quick as I can type an e-mail.  I can type about 80wpm or 90wpm, if I'm having a good day.  So, you can almost picture my frustration and the chicken scratch that resulted from my furious "need" to finish the letter.  Getting out the door and actually putting the letter in the "Outgoing Mailbox" was almost as bad, at first.

Eventually, I slowed down dramatically and took the time to write. 

We talk about our thoughts, what our day was like, what we should do this year, etc.

If you haven't written to a friend, you should try it.

Sometimes I think that we all just need to slow down and reflect on our day.  This blog is another great example of "slowing" down.  Even though I'm typing (as evidenced by my occasional grammatical error) it gives me a chance to stop and think about things.  Doesn't matter what it is...

Do Widzenia!

Day 18 - Breaking the Habit

Yes, I know...  17 days into the blog, I've already broken the streak.  Frankly, it was actually getting difficult to reflect on a blessing without repeating myself.  It's easy to recognize a blessing when it's something small and that is not, necessarily, something I want to write about on my blog.  Otherwise it would be a bulleted list of:

God thank you for x.

That's not what I consider really counting a blessing.  Personally, if I want to count a blessing I want it to have a sense of depth and meaning.  Should I really be thinking about blessings this way or do you think counting every single thing is just as important? Even the most trivial?  What really constitutes a blessing anyway?  Thank you for this DVD?  Thank you for the ability to use Net Flix on my X-Box?  Thank you for the X-Box?

Put it quite simply:  counting a blessing is not easy.  You can think about it in passing and in a brief whisper in your mind, but to really sit and reflect about what God has blessed you with...  That can take a lot of reflection and perspective to even recognize.  I'm asking God for the clarity of mind to show me what He's blessed me with and how I can be thankful.  I almost want to pull my hair out because I just can't see them.  I've written about my family, career, school...  But there has to be more!  This life He's given me is like a ball of yarn that I have to unravel.

This journey is taking a little bit of a turn, from what I've noticed.  I'm taking the time to recognize these blessings, but in turn, He's turning me to pay more attention to Him instead of what He's blessed me with.  He'll continue to bless me and through knowing Him, I'll be more likely to recognize them even if those blessings come in the form of what we might consider negative.  That is what I want to know...  That is what I want to understand...  And right now I can't...  So I call it "breaking the habit" of an unnoticing eye.

With that aside...  I'm also trying to break another bad habit of mine which, I'm sure, many of you have or are suffering from... Procrastination!!  I am a pro at this and it's not something I'm proud of.  I definitely have to kick it, if I want to keep up in this MBA program!  We all know what is keeping us from doing what we really need to be doing... For me (in order):


#1 - Video Games is my #1 culprit
#2 - Facebook and YouTube
#3 - Television
#4 - Overall laziness

I seriously need to kick this habit...

Day 17 - Deja Vu Accounting

So, accounting last night went really well compared to last trimester.  Dr. Briginshaw was either on his game or he has changed some things up.  I attended a couple classes before I decided to drop and focus on economics.  So far, almost everything is identical to last trimester: same homework assignments, same lectures, and even the same jokes at the same time...

I received some bad news, but... don't think this is the medium to talk about that.

I'm thankful that I actually have the first three homework assignments done already!

Day 16 - Calm Before the Storm

I'm sitting in my hotel room after a long day at the office.  This week has been a whirl wind and there are a lot of frayed edges at work.  People are pulling their hair out and, sometimes, you can totally feel the tension in the air.  It's a very productive week, and people are definitely putting in the overtime.

On top of it all, someone decided to come to the office and spread a lovely coughing virus that I just got over a week ago.  I think I can totally beat it though...  I just got over my sickness so my immune system is total rocking, I'm taking my vitamins, and I'm equipped with DayQuil.

Tonight, I'm reviewing my Accounting homework and chapters 1-3 because the first day of the trimester (for me) starts tomorrow! Hooray!  Tonight is definitely the calm before the storm because this trimester combined with a crazy work schedule is going to be... Insane!

However, I need to remember how blessed I am to even be where I'm at.  I get to go school and be at job that pays the bills.  So I just need to focus and do my best...

Day 15 - Bro, Make Me Fried Rice!

Today is definitely a case of the Mondays.  A few coworkers and I are working in Anaheim, CA to perform regression testing on an updated version of our most recent enterprise software implementation.  My eyes feel so heavy that I caught myself dozing off earlier and actually writing a sentence about "green ninjas" when documenting my actual test results.  Just what the project team needs to read: failed tests and green ninjas.

Besides the sleepy-eyes, I've been thinking a lot about my brother, Phillip.  My brother is living in Las Vegas, NV working at the new Cosmopolitan Hotel.  He's the sous chef at the Wicked Spoon Buffet.  It's no ordinary buffet, and I'm looking forward to trying it out someday.

My brother lived with me in the condo for about a year and a half.  I really enjoyed living with my brother and miss having him around.  We didn't see each other much since he usually worked the afternoon/evenings and I'm usually a 7am-4pm-ish person.  I loved it when his girlfriend, Amii, would come over because that usually meant that my brother was going to bust out the pots and pans and make something totally awesome.  I enjoyed having Amii around too!  I'm just saying... When she was around, that meant there was going to be some yummy food!  I'm pretty sure I took it for granted, but I always loved it when he busted out king crab, lobster, fillets, garlic mashed potatoes at 11:45pm when he and Amii got in from work.

I'm super proud of my brother.  My brother is always telling me how proud he is of me and that I'm the "bread winner" or the family, but what he doesn't know is that he's the one that I look up.  My brother has a huge passion and determination for what he does and sacrifices and takes risks to reach his life long goals.  Since we were little, he was always cooking something in the kitchen.  I remember when he first discovered how to make scrambled eggs and would whip them up for the family.  Eventually, he graduated to fried rice and that's when our inside jokes started...  My brother grew to become a talented cook, but I would always tease him to make me fried rice.

I miss my brother a ton.  He'll always be my inspiration and my motivation to work hard.

Love ya, big bro.

My brother Phillip, Richard Blais (top chef contestant), and sous chef Drew Fortenberry

Day 14 - Homework and Polish

Today was pretty uneventful except for getting started on my homework.  I read the first two chapters of my Marketing Management book, and it was a total bore.  After that, I spent a few hours on Rosetta Stone.  The first two lessons in Polish weren't that bad, but it's starting to get a little more difficult.  Sometimes, it's not an issue of pronouncing or figuring out what the right answers are, as it is trying to figure out what exactly the concept is that Rosetta Stone is trying to teach you.  You can pretty much figure out what the answer is by simple elimination or looking at the pattern the last two examples gave you...

In any case, it was a really quiet Sunday.  I mostly did stuff around the condo: cleaning, laundry, studying, etc...  A nice quiet day to yourself is always good for relaxation.  Oh.. and no hang over.. woot!

See ya.

Day 13 - King's Cup and Drum Corps

Wow! What a late night!

You'll have to forgive me, as I'm a little bit on the "had a couple of drinks" mode...

I had a GREAT night with some of my closest friends from drum and bugle corps.  We played drinking games, caught up, and watched a really raunchy episode of South Park.  We all went to Hunter's place where he made an amazing dinner.  I'm not sure what to even call it, but it was pork, asparagus, broccoli, and some wine.

When everyone showed up, we got to playing drinking games: King's Cup and the 'H' game...  I'm pretty blitz and really happy and BLESSED to still have friends from drum and bugle corps that I still hang out with.  EVERY time we hang out it's like we pick up from our last conversation...  We always talk about our days in the Blue Devils, but this time it was a debate on marching dot-perfect or guiding to the form.  Lots of great conversation and an all around GREAT evening.  Thanks to Hunter for putting all this together...

Day 12 - Dzien dobry świat

That's "hello, world" in Polish.  I think...

That's right...  I'm on my way to learning Polish.  I know what you're thinking...

"That's kind of a random language, Carl..."

RosettaStone - Polish Lesson 1

But, Mark speaks Polish and we're planning a trip to Poland towards the end of the year.  I'm sure it will come in handy and it'd be nice to maybe speak to Mark and his family in their native tongue someday.

The first week in January has been a total frenzy of work.  I definitely have my hands in a lot of pots, but as my boss told me today, "But that's a good thing.  I always want you to be challenged."  As much as my boss can really make my work week a complete.... *thinking positive* opportunity to excel... I am pretty lucky that my boss does, to some extent, see the potential that I might have at the company.  She's always throwing me curve balls and putting me in situations where I might fail, but learn a lot at the same time.  But sometimes she does open the fire-hose and tell me to say "ah".

I'm really looking forward to some of the challenges this year.  I know... I say that now, right?  I'm sure there will be blogs where I'm totally pulling my hair out, but for now... I'm thankful.

So here we go.. Lesson 1 in Polish!

Day 11 - The Flammers

No, not that kind of flamer.

Yesterday, I was having a bad day. And I was really surprised by the kind of support I received from my online friends at Lord of the Rings Online. I know that not many people and relate to this... Well, maybe in this day and age people could.

Have you ever built a close friendship with people that you have never met in your life?

After over 3 years playing LoTRO, I've developed pretty close relationships with a number of people. I'm so blessed to have great friends: Ane, Michael, Ed, Shell, Monica, and Ryan just to name a few. They always cheer me up and, for some reason, send me drunk text messages that make me laugh.

Thank you to the Flames of Arnor for making me feel so blessed and giving me great advice when I'm feelin' down.

I really hope we all meet someday! Everyone together in-person would be a great day.

Day 10 Supp. - Better to Work Out Than Beat a Face In

It’s impossible to always have positive days.  We all have our good days and we all have our bad days, and today was a bad day for me.

Have you ever hated someone so much that you wanted to inflict some damage and just cut a B----?  These are old wounds but the hurt is still very much there.  I’m talking about betrayal of trust, friendships, and relationships. 

This is a problem with me…  Being a Christian and very much a forgiving person, this has really perplexed me and hurt me…  Why do I hate this person so much?  I know the reasons, but WHY can’t I get myself to forgive this person?  As much as I try to give this problem to God I can’t seem to resolve the feelings inside.  Sometimes I have really good days, but some days… The feelings creep up and it just hurts…

Just forgive and forget, Carl… Be a better person…  Give it to God and everything will be fine.

So instead of beating someone’s face in, I decided to go to the gym to let off some steam.  I feel a lot better, but it’s still somewhere in there…

I’ve got to turn this around and recognize that I am really blessed with someone that will continue to love me and continue to build on the relationship we have.  I also have great friends to lean on to encourage me and to help me realize that this “friend” wasn’t worth my time…

Yes, I know this is vague…  But I think you understand at some level.

Happiness is my choice and it my choice to spread it and make others happy… NOT cut others down for selfish gain.  Unlike other people, I like to put others before myself and make this world a better place to live in.  I enjoy and love to flourish the friendships others and I have… NOT manipulate and dissolve relationships...

So that’s still a little bitter, but… At least I’m getting there…

Day 10 - Even the Homeless Are Blessed

I think this video clip says it all.  God is so good and I'm so thankful He is always in control and looking out for us.  I know things don't always have a happy ending and it can be difficult to see the purpose in things, but if you believe and trust Him... Everything will work out for the best (even if it's not what you personally want).

Ted Williams has such a great outlook and, I think, everyone should have the same appreciation for life he does. This is just awesome.

Day 9 - Pepperdine and tacos

Taco Tuesdays before class has become a little tradition that some of my Pepperdine friends started this past trimester.  Today before the start of the Spring trimester, a bunch of us got together.  I was really surprised that Jason made it out.  He's usually out of town or something and hasn't attended any of our "extracurricular" get-togethers.  I was really happy to see Spence show up too!  He was in our Organizational Behavior (or the "feelings" class according to Jason) class and left to attend Colorado University (or something like that).  I'm glad to see he's back at Pepperdine.

I'm thankful for having awesome (and super smart ^_^) friends to hang out with.  I've met some of the most brilliant minds at Pepperdine and they all motivate me to push myself and shoot for the stars.

School starts up next week and I'll be working in Anaheim, CA for the next few weeks.  I'm actually looking forward to the trimester and glad I'll be in Anaheim.  My commute to school will only be 15 minutes opposed to the 1.5 hours.

Emily, Chelsea, and Charles

Jason, Theo, and Sandi

Emily can't feel her face and Spence is looking way too excited ;) LOL